I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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