Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
