just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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