I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize