What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
