I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
