he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
