i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
