My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
