Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
