do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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