Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
