He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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