Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
