I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have grass duct taped all over my body
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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