mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Blow job season was short but glorious.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
