Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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