we have pet lesbian snakes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
