you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
