Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
