Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
