Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
