Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
