4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
