so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
