Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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