Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
