I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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