Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
