yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
