"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
