Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
