You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they call him Oral-B. enough said
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
