He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
