I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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