she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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