One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
