Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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