i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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