She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
