What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
