why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
