I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
