he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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