If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
