Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He passed out mid-signature
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
