I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
