i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Life without a bra equals bliss.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
