I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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