Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
