Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
