some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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