Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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